One honeymoon, several deaths and a victory for stem cell research…

Good Saturday,

Just to get The Royal Wedding out of the way: the happy couple are off on their honeymoon. No, we don’t know where to – but we do know that it will be short and sweet. William has apparently promised to be back at work (for the RAF) on Tuesday. Move along now, nothing else to see here.

The situation in Libya – which has been ugly for a while – just got uglier. Nato has struck very close to home for Gaddafi (literally) and killed another of his sons in an air raid on his compound. Not only his son, but three of his grandsons too.

At around the same time as the fatalities occurred; Gaddafi had released a live, televised speech: “The door to peace is open” he said, “Why are you attacking us?!” Gaddafi denied any wrongdoing on his part but said that he was ready to negotiate and agree to a cease-fire. Words we’ve heard before. Nato has insisted that they won’t cease anything until Gaddafi relinquishes power.

Over in Afghanistan, the Taliban has warned of more attacks on ‘foreign invaders’ – i.e. Brits and Yanks. They have gone so far as to tell all Afghans to keep away from future ‘gatherings, convoys and centres’ so that they don’t get absolutely decimated in any upcoming acts of terrorism on the part of the Taliban. Thoughtful.

The death toll in Southern America has now reached 340, which makes this tornado the second deadliest in the history of the region.

Finally, the practice of stem cell research has won yet another legal battle in America. Plenty of Americans have their knickers in a twist about the scientific practice; which uses human embryos to investigate new medicines – and thus causes huge ethical problems, mainly of a religious nature. I should point out here, that experimenting on human embryos (which don’t even posses brains) is almost undisputedly less savage than experimenting on chimps (who have the mental capacity of a young human child).  But I digress. Stem cell research has been given the go ahead in this instance – which has lead to irate Christians and very happy Scientists.

Until tomorrow….

A Royal Fairytale...

Good Friday,

So they did it. William and Kate got married. The bride looked heart-stoppingly beautiful in ivory lace and the groom looked bashful, overwhelmed and smitten. Exactly as it should be then. A staggering two billion people tuned in to watch from around the world; your dear self probably included, so I’ll save you the long story. But here are the bones of it, in case you happened to be on Mars and missed it.

The event ran with clockwork precision. William struggled to get the ring on Kate’s finger for about three quarters of a second. That was literally the biggest cock up of the day. The couple looked young, suitably nervous; but even for the most steely and emotionally compromised observers (the Queen for example), tear-jerkingly in love. An array of photos have emerged which document the flock of celebrity guests – mostly sporting offensively bright’n’tight ensembles and mostly sprouting elaborate, sculptural displays (hats?) from their nodding, enthusiastic heads. Head to the Daily Mail for the full catalogue.

Honestly though, all in all, the whole day made Britain look very, extremely wonderful for a moment or two.

If you really scrutinize the back pages of any newspaper today, you will find mention of other news:

Syrian forces have opened fire on crowds of protesters, yet again. Seven more deaths were reported today, but – yet again – it has only invited more outrage and more urgent calls for the current regime to be overthrown.

Closer to home now, and to our own rioters. From Bristol. A gang of squatters who won’t leave their squats. Who hurled missiles at Police today. Because the Police wouldn’t get off their backs. I don’t really need to say anymore do I?

In Alabama, USA, where another tornado has ripped through the region, claiming many lives (162 so far) – Obama has stood amongst the rubble and said he has ‘never seen devastation like it.’

Uganda is going the way of many other African countries, with violence erupting over who should be in charge. Current President Yoweri Museveni is facing uproar following his arrest of opposition leader Rizza Besigye – who attests that… you’ve guessed it… recent elections have been rigged.

Ok, finally, it is trivial compared; but it will put a smile on your face, I promise. It just will. William and Kate’s first kiss as man and wife… And I am just going to alert you to the little girl on the bottom left of the photo above. Because she deserves a nod too don't you think?

Goodnight

Conspiracy Heaven in America...

 Good Thursday,

Brits might not really know about this first piece of news, but I think they should. Americans (always fond of a good conspiracy theory) have been squabbling for a while now, over a number of reasonably far fetched (or are they?) propositions about some of their leading politicians.

For example, that Sarah Palin (god-fearing leader of the very conservative republic party) faked the pregnancy of her ‘son’ Trig, who was ‘actually’ born to her (unmarried) daughter, Bristol – and is only bringing Trig up as her own because it can’t get out that Bristol had a child out of wedlock. This would be laughable, but for the fact that Palin has refused to show Trig’s birth certificate in order to prove her innocence.

Obama, on the other hand, has been accused of not actually being born in the United States of America; and therefore being an illegitimate President. These accusations have mainly been leveled by Donald Trump (pictured) – famous American (republican) business tycoon – who is desperate to dethrone Obama, for obvious reasons. Yesterday, Obama dutifully produced his birth certificate in order to get Trump off his back. Today, Trump has come up with a new theory; that Obama somehow faked his way into Harvard University, rather than earned it on merit... again... therefore being an illegitimate President. Evidentially, Trump is still coming to terms with the almost unfeasible fact; that a young, black, through-and-through nice guy has scrambled his way to the top of the political food chain without cheating.

It’s interesting. You’d think that Left and Right would be pretty consistenet across the pond. And yet it’s really not. Mainstream Right Wing (Conservative) in the UK has a reputation for being stuffy, elitist and disconnected with the plight of the poor. Mainstream Right Wing in America has a reputation for being very religious, pretty radical and very popular with the poor.

Anyway – onto to the news…

Yet another high ranking individual has been struck off the guestlist for the Royal Wedding. Earlier, I reported that the Prince of Bahrain had uninvited himself before he could be unvited. Today, in the absence of such a gesture from the Ambassador of Syria, we have done it for him. Over 450 pro-democracy rioters have been killed by Syrian authorities of late. The Ambassador’s prescence at the wedding has subsequently been deemed ‘unacceptable.’

Over 200 people have been killed in Southern America by more freak weather. Alabama says that recent storms have been the worst in their history.

In Libya, Nato planes have mistakenly killed another 12 civilians, whilst attempting to hit Gaddafi’s forces.

Finally, a bomb in the Morocan city of Marakesh has killed 14 people (and counting). What that means, we don’t yet know I’m afraid. But it’s a Middle Eastern country on the verge of revolt, so that could supply us with some clue.

Until tomorrow….

Britian picks up, Syria gets worse and Gaddafi's daughter has her say...

Good Wednesday,

Relatively good news came with new figures released this morning, by the Office for National Statistics, which shows that we have narrowly missed diving back into recession. The British economy has in fact grown half a little percent in the first quarter of 2011. All praise George Osbourne, so they are saying.

The whole of Blighty is tying itself into knots of excitement over the Royal Wedding. Guards, armed forces, clergy and guests have been doing run-throughs and rehearsals galore; and the rest of us have been tracking them fiendishly throughout London to try and get clues about the upcoming ceremony. So far? We know that Westminster Abbey is being filled with trees for the occasion. Interestingly, neither Brown nor Blair have been invited to the wedding – in what is widely seen as a snub to the Labour party. Plenty of old (and obviously current) Conservative leaders are on the list. Meow.

Onto more serious issues next, and David Cameron seems to be backtracking somewhat on his previous assurance that we wouldn’t be arming the Libyan rebels. The dreaded stalemate has set in, and he is now saying that we might have to provide the rebels with guns after all, if they are ever going to overthrow Gaddafi. Up until now, we have been giving them strategic advice only.

Meanwhile, Gaddafi’s daughter (pictured) has spoken out in an interview with the New York Times. She says that the Libyan rebels are a bunch of terrorists and that should they gain power, they will turn on us Westerners the moment they get the chance. She said that the situation would be even worse than it currently is in Iraq and that we were are idiots for betraying her father the way we have.

Finally, an influx of North African immigrants have been flooding into Europe; Italy and France being particularly unhappy about it. Sarkozy and Berlusconi are trying to get the ‘free travel around the EU’ rules changed, and want the immigrants who do gain access to their borders to be ‘distributed’ fairly around all the EU countries, rather than just the popular ones. I.e. France and Italy.

That’s all for today… see you tomorrow…

Mostly British news for once...

Good Tuesday,

Lord Mandelson (better known as Gordon Brown’s slightly eccentric former advisor) has urged Labour supporters to vote for the AV voting system, because it might be enough to knock Cameron off his perch come next election.

Figures have emerged which show that the average UK worker calls in sick (skives off work) about 10 times a year. Apparently, we do so twice as often as the average worker in the US. You have to remember that we Brits have the longest working hours in the developed world, so it’s no wonder we award ourselves the odd duvet day every now and again.

A report claims City workers are still earning enormous amounts of money, even though their bonuses are being cut to make them appear more frugal. Companies are simply raising salaries instead. Not very surprising.

Falling house prices and very low interest rates in the UK means that, for now, buying a house works out nearly £100 cheaper per month than renting one. This makes a change. In 2008, it was almost double the price to buy than to rent. Which is good news for anyone lucky enough to be granted a mortgage at the moment.

A mole has been outed in Pakistan. Not as in a furry, blind, digger. As in a spy. The unnamed man worked for British Intelligence in order to gather information, but was actually an al-Qaeda assassin who now stands accused of bombing Christian churches and a luxury hotel in Pakistan.

You may have been hearing talk recently of the new, scientifically coined ‘Sleepless Elite.’ If you haven’t, I apologize, because it is going make you cross and jealous. The Sleepless Elite are a small minority of humans who thrive on less than 6 hours sleep a night. They are found (naturally) to go to bed late, rise early and motor through their day with no feelings of tiredness and no requirement for naps or industrial strength caffeine. As if that wasn’t enough, they typically have fast metabolisms and a high pain threshold too. Bastards. Scientists are fiendishly attempting to single out the genes so that one day, we could all be so lucky. 

Finally, it has been pointed out that the date of the Royal Wedding (29^th April for the few of you who haven’t got it stuck to your fridge, tattooed to your brain etc etc) coincides with annual ‘Save the Frogs’ day. This provides you, dear reader, with some strong joke-formulating material. Submissions in the comment box below please. Best one wins a prize…

Protests, Prison Breaks and Pensioners

The war in Libya is getting increasingly complicated and, of course, attracting more and more debate about whether getting involved was such a good idea after all. It will apparently cost Britain £1bn over six months to take part, all in, which is an eye watering figure for a country already in debt. On the other hand, some argue that this is a golden opportunity for the Western world to align themselves with one of the strongest emergences of democracy the Arab world has even seen. As commentators chew over the possibilities, Nato ups its attack; today hitting Gaddafi's Bab al-Azizia compound and presumably delivering yet another powerful knock to his position.

In Syria, Bashar al-Assad doesn’t look like he is about to back down to protesters. Far from it. The President has lowered himself onto the slippery slope by sending his troops into the city of Deraa – where anti-government demonstrations have been making the most noise, and where many protesters have already been killed for standing up to him.

Whistle-blowing website, WikiLeaks, has published documentation that proves that the US is guilty of detaining 150 innocent prisoners in Guantanamo Bay. You can read more about the controversial prison in Cuba here.

Speaking of such things, a whopping 500 Taleban prisoners have escaped from a prison is Afghanistan – through a tunnel hundreds of metres long. Prison breaks are actually more common than you may think. More than 1,000 escaped from a similar jail in Afghanistan back in 2008.

Berlusconi has almost managed to get a new law passed in Italy - which will shorten and simplify criminal trials - pending some final paperwork. Now if you’ve been following the news, you will notice that Berlusconi himself is currently facing high-profile charges for corruption. And you’ve guessed it – this new law would probably get him out of it. Crafty.

Speaking of new laws, Britain is about to see its University system change again – and I’m not referring to fees. In a bid to give students from bad backgrounds more of a chance, admissions officers will now have to pick candidates with lower grades, who attend schools or live in areas where not many of their peers go onto higher education. It’s essentially designed to find potential amongst less fortunate students. Plenty of straight A* candidates who have either been privately educated or who simply live in a good area, however, are already been rejected from Oxbridge as a result. This sort of thing isn’t particularly new. Governments are always trying to close the gap between social classes using University admissions rules. Still, middle class parents are hopping mad again.

Finally, new figures reveal that we are all getting older. Quite a lot older. A quarter of under-16s are now expected to reach at least 100. Lucky things? You decide…

Until tomorrow

Hoppity Hop...

Good Sunday,

A few weeks ago I pointed out that the Prince of Bahrain was invited to the upcoming Royal Wedding, and that lots of people found this diplomatically controversial, due to the recent protests there. Considering that protesters in Bahrain are asking their leaders for pretty much the same thing (democracy) as the rebels in Libya, it seems barmy that we should be waging war against Gaddafi but cuddling up to the rulers of Bahrain. Well, potential problem solved, because the Prince has politely declined his invitation for fear of causing a ‘distraction.’ Probably wise.

Meanwhile, Britain is urging anyone who is in Syria at the moment to get out, which isn’t surprising given the rapid escalation of drama there.

The President of Yemen has agreed to step down in response to mass protests against him – but only if he is granted immunity against prosecution, and only if he gets to hand power to someone he approves of. In a proper fashion. With ballot boxes and everything. He also seems to be doing a bit of a ‘Gaddafi’ in claiming that the dreaded al-Qaeda has infiltrated protest camps, so they aren’t to be trusted anyway.

The Archbishop of Canterbury has called for world peace in his big Easter Sunday speech, as has the Pope - who finished his service in Rome today by blessing his congregation in over 60 languages.

Hollywood actor Michael Sheen has completed a marathon reenactment of the Passion. Passion plays take place all around the world at Easter, dramatising the story of Jesus’ last few days. This one took place in Cornwall and lasted an astonishing 72 hours. The finale crucifixion was watched by 6000 people and took place in the middle of a roundabout.  

You are all probably rolling around, full of chocolate and ready to hit the hay. So I will leave you early this time, and with the truth behind the bizarre, anthropomorphic, egg hiding rabbit that we have come to call the Easter Bunny.

It most likely originated yonks ago from pagan festivals held at springtime, where eggs and bunnies would have featured for obvious reasons. Rabbits are known for their particularly ‘dedicated’ approach to reproduction, and eggs symbolize new life. When Christianity spread through the world, these customary traditions were absorbed into the Jesus celebrations – simply because both festivities happened to take place at the same time of year. The chocolate prominence came in later, because everyone loves chocolate and because it always does at some point.

So there you have it. Have another chocolate ovum, thank the Easter Bunny and don’t forget to say your prayers before bed.

Syria, Libya, Pakistan and a Marathon effort from Cambridge…

Good Saturday,

Top of the agenda again is Syria, where two government MP’s have resigned in reaction to President Bashar al-Assad’s handling of the situation. Nine more protesters were shot dead by his forces during a mass funeral (for victims of the same fate) yesterday. You really do start to wonder whether these leaders have any marbles left at all.

President al-Assad (pictured above) reportedly has a firm grip on his security forces, so it is unlikely that the military will turn on him and side with the protesters, as they did in Egypt. All in all, it is felt that his regime will be a tough nut to crack.

Commentators are also saying that because Syria has actually been so stable over the years (relatively speaking) – if everything were to go arse over tit for them now, the consequences for the rest of the Middle East would be severe. Syria is, politically speaking, the glue that holds plenty of shaky peace deals together. If you want to know about this in any more detail, you shall have to navigate away from this site because it really is too complicated and murky to go into for News Abridged purposes.

Over in Libya, Gaddafi looks like he might have given up on pelting the city of Misurta and left it in the hands of the rebels. But you never really know with him. It’s entirely possible that he’ll be back.

Elsewhere in the Middle East, Pakistan has said it is fed up with US drones (bomb dropping aircrafts that are so clever and automatic, they don’t need pilots) striking their country. The US does a lot of this – and for clarity, they are targeting al-Qaeda, not Pakistan. Al-Qaeda – being a terrorist network rather than a settled camp – resides in little pockets all over the world, and America feels they need to be blasted out of anywhere they choose to hide, Pakistan being one example. America argues that if Pakistani’s were better at getting rid of al-Qaeda on their own, they wouldn’t need to intervene. Pakistan accuses America of being careless and killing civilians by accident in their attacks – which, of course, happens all the time when guns come out.

So is anything going on in the Western world?

Yes. One story which will leave you inspired, bemused and inadequate in equal measure…

As marathon runners from around the world are still nursing their sore feet post last weeks London race, one man from Cambridge is gearing up for more. Sam Robson – running addict extraordinaire – finished the London Marathon in a nippy 3 hours and 45 minutes… and didn’t stop running. He continued through the night for a further 99 miles, without stopping, until he reached his hometown of St. Ives. All to raise more money for his charity – ‘The Epilepsy Society.’ In effect, he ran the Marathon almost 5 times in one go. Crazy wonderful.

See you tomorrow.

The world quarrels, the Pope gets an upgrade and a schoolgirl reveals a secret…

Greetings,

First up, the situation in Syria has got even worse. 60 people are said to have been killed by security forces in the latest spat – the youngest victim being only 11 years old. President Bashar al-Assad warned protesters last week to back down, but his militant behaviour is only serving to encourage more riots. He would do well to look around him and realise this.

A senior US soldier, Adm Mullen, has said that the war in Libya is approaching a stalemate – which means that the two sides are effectively walking into a brick wall. US and Nato airstrikes have destroyed around 40% of Gaddafi’s ground forces, which has given the rebels a sure advantage, but has only really brought them up to the same standard as Gaddafi. Neither side seems able to deliver the fatal blow, so what happens next is anyone’s guess.

Northern Ireland is looking shaky too. After a period of relative calm, it appears that dissident republicans (extremists who are opposed to Northern Ireland still being part of Great Britain) have started getting nasty again. Since the murder of Constable Ronan Kerr 3 weeks ago, a number of arrests have been made and a wealth of worrying information uncovered. Police won’t say what they’ve found, but have warned people to be on “high alert” over the Easter weekend because the threat of further terrorist attacks is “severe”.

Gordon Brown has got himself a shiny new job. Rather ironically – given that he has been widely accused of buggering up our economy – he will soon take on an advisory role at the World Economic Forum. The WEF is an international organisation “committed to improving the state of the world.” To be fair to him, it’s ridiculous to suggest that he was to blame for our grizzly recession. Still, Cameron couldn’t resist taking a pop, and told the BBC that Brown was hardly the best person to be handing out economic advice.

The Pope, if you can believe it, has taken his first steps to modernity. Sort of. He made history this week by becoming the first Pontiff to take part in a televised question-and-answer session. I suppose if he were really modern, he would be tweeting his musings at all hours of the day and would have his own blog and facebook account. I digress. The TV format may be new but the questions and answers certainly weren’t. “Why do we suffer?” asked a 7-year-old victim of the recent Japanese tsunami. “We do not have answers,” replied the Pope, “but we know that Jesus suffered too.” Encouraging.

Finally, a 17-year-old girl from Washington, America has gained worldwide coverage for faking a pregnancy in order to conduct a 6-month social experiment about “stereotypes, rumours and statistics.” Gaby Rodriguez fooled her schoolteachers, friends, relatives and even her boyfriend’s family using a fake bump, and clearly an enormous dose of initiative. She has received a generally positive reaction for the stunt, and you can read more about it here.

Farewell.

Immigrants, iPhones and chickens…

Good Thursday,

Things are getting worse in Libya, particularly in Misurta, where medics claim that at least 50 people have been injured per day as a result of Gaddafi’s attacks. A British, oscar nominated film maker and photographer – Tim Hetherington – and his colleague Chris Handros , were amongst the recent casualties. America has offered the rebels $25m worth of armoured vehicles and bulletproof vests to show willing.

Australia is experiencing problems with its asylum policy. It has been steadily admitting more and more immigrants over the years, but is still under pressure to accept more. Refugees (country of origin unknown) set fire to an immigration centre in Sydney today, burning 9 buildings to the ground because they were denied entrance.

Apple, the wonder company, has seen its profits rise by 85% in the first quarter of this year – mainly due to iPhone sales. Which is a stonking jump, and provides further proof that this company may one day rule the world.

There has been quite a bit of anti-EU chat recently, with political parties all around Europe gaining popularity over their ‘No EU’ policies. The EU is currently asking for a 4.9% increase in annual budget, which is going down badly all round. Our chancellor George Osbourne (who has attracted widespread approval for Britain’s austerity budget) has said that this request is totally unreasonable, given that we are all broke as it is. This measure would cost the average UK family £400.

Kate Middleton made a touching visit to the late Princess Diana’s grave yesterday. And the Queen has had her first official rendez vous with Kate’s parents, at Windsor Castle. None of this is particularly interesting but I know people are interested in it at the moment, so there you go.

Kyrgyzstan (which is a central Asian state on the border of China) has come under fire for animal cruelty. Their government has been experiencing all sorts of trouble for a while now, mainly because they have a coalition arrangement whereby nothing can be agreed upon. The solution? To publically sacrifice 7 sheep. Hmm. Tut Tut’s all round.

In other animal rights news, the whole of Europe is gearing up for a ban on battery chickens. I rarely inject my opinion into these news deliveries but I feel so strongly about this that I have to on this one. 93% of eggs in the EU come from hens that live in tiny cages for their entire lives. So tiny that they can’t even stretch their wings. It is an unfathomable existence, which is entirely unjustified; and in my opinion, this law is way overdue. It comes into play soon, and despite a 10 year warning period, many chicken-janitors are asking for more time.

See you anon...

Five bits of news... and one alien

Good Wednesday,

The UK, Italy and France have all agreed to send military advisors to the Libyan rebels, in another show of support for their cause. The current UN regulation specifies that no troops can be sent to help them, so these advisors will be there strictly to give the rebels good ideas, not military muscle. Gaddafi is still hopping mad about it.

Elsewhere in the Middle East, the UN has failed to agree on a course of action over Yemen; where a similar uprising is under way, but still in its early stages. A big meeting took place about it today but nothing was decided. Syrian protesters are also unwilling to back down over requests for political reforms, so more drama is expected all round.

In Nigeria, losing Muslim candidate Buhari has now announced that he will be legally challenging the outcome of the recent election. He claims President Goodluck rigged the vote, and his Muslim supporters have been running riot and blowing up Goodluck’s Christian supporters as a result - Christians who have been retaliating with similar force.

President Obama has been trying to reassure the rest of the world that America is still economically reliable. Yesterday, their official status moved from ‘stable’ to ‘negative’, and today, China and Japan (who are both owed dosh by America) were throwing them dodgy looks from across the ocean.

Back in Britain, both excitement and trepidation is building over the Royal wedding – and not just for the bride and groom. Yesterday I mentioned that ‘Muslims Against Crusades’ had applied for permission to stage a protest outside Westminster Abbey on the big day, and were obviously refused it. Today, they have retaliated with promises to turn the event into a “nightmare” by marching around burning effigies of William and Kate. The English Defence League – who are equally fond of starting fights – are expected to be out in full to force to combat them. None of which bodes very well for a peaceful, celebratory day.

Last, but by no means least… ET has landed. Or at least lots of people think he has. Footage of an abducted ‘alien’, found dead in Russia, has attracted over 3 million hits on youtube in only 3 days. No spaceship was found near the body. You can check him out here. Go on, you know you want to…

The Middle East heats up, America downgrades and Royal preparations are underway...

Good Tuesday,

More protests in Syria have been dispersed with force from government security officials. At least 200 protesters have been killed since the uprising begun. President Bashar Al-Assad hoped he could stop all this by agreeing to end the country’s ‘state of emergency’ law by the end of the week – but as predicted, it simply isn’t enough for the protesters.

An international effort is underway to evacuate as many innocent civilians as possible, from the Libyan town of Misurta. Gaddafi has been bombarding this town particularly aggressively.

In Africa, the Nigerian (Christian) President – aptly named ‘Goodluck Jonathan’ – has beaten his (Muslim) rival Muhammadu Buhari, to keep his position of power. There has been a great deal of violence and unrest surrounding this election, mainly due to rifts between the Muslims of the north and the Christians of the south. Goodluck has been accused of rigging the votes in his favour, so violence is likely to continue even though he has won the campaign.

America’s credit rating has taken a blow, with its economic outlook downgraded from ‘stable’ to ‘negative.’ This is mostly down to the government being unable to agree on how best to sort out their budget deficit, and the gloomy status change has resulted in financial markets falling around the world.

Back to the UK now, and as tabloids and fashion magazines go into overdrive attempting to guess which dress Kate Middleton is going to wear at the Royal wedding, police have other things on their plate. Scotland Yard are trying their very hardest to prevent extremist gangs from kicking off at the upcoming event. They announced today that had refused a radical Islamic group called ‘Muslims against Crusades’ permission to stage a protest outside Westminster Abbey on the big day. Hardly surprising really. Decorations are up already, the extended bank holiday is approaching and everyone is determined to have a good time whatever happens.

Finally, support for the AV voting system looks like it may be dwindling. Despite pro-AV campaigners doing their very best to persuade people that the concept is SIMPLE, it turns out not to be. Most people you’ll talk to still don’t understand it. A Guardian poll has revealed that only 42% of those questioned now backed the change.

It seems to be that the AV system is more popular with the Left Wing than the Right. All things considered, Cameron does appear to be more popular than Gordon Brown was, so the general public are evidentially having a bit of a Right Wing moment.

That’s all for now. See you tomorrow. 

Extreme ironing, extreme weather and voting...

Good Monday,

Large parts of England were thrown into road rage and traffic turmoil, when one of our biggest motorways closed down today, stuffing up the lives of countless motorists and Easter holidaymakers across the country. The M1 was shut on Friday due to a fire, and sections of it could remain so until the middle of this week. Looking for the interesting part of this news story? Here it is. One man today took the opportunity, in the name of his ‘extreme ironing’ website, to set himself up on the empty tarmac and iron a shirt in his dressing gown. Nutty and charming in equal measure – you can see him in action here.

Britain is gearing up for a referendum on our system of voting. At the moment, we have a ‘first pass the post’ system in place for elections. So voters are asked to pick an MP for their constituency, and the MP with the most votes will win and take charge. The ‘AV’ (Alternative Voting) system proposes that voters should be able to rank their choices in order of how much they approve of various parties. So instead of saying “I want Labour,” even though you might be a bit torn you can say “I want Labour, but if they don’t do very well, then use my next vote for Conservatives. And if they flop, then I guess use it for the Lib Dems.” The theory is that everyone gets more of a detailed say in what they want, and the results are more reflective of the majority. Cameron says this will overcomplicate things. Clegg insists it will simplify them. It's up to you and I to decide.

In other voting news, a nationalist party in Finland has won almost 20% of the public’s affection in their general election. The ‘True Finns’ are known for being massively opposed to EU bailouts – and, now that they will have a say on European policy, it could mean changes to the current scheme.

France has thrown a big strop at Italy for opening its gates to North African immigrants, and granting them temporary residency visas. It means these immigrants will have free reign to move onto other EU countries – but France isn’t standing for it. They’ve halted all incoming Italian trains at their border while they figure out their next move.

Meteorological mayhem has struck the planet again, with storms and tornados tearing through Southern states in America. 45 are dead and millions have been left homeless.

Finally, elsewhere in the US, two British tourists have been shot dead in Florida – apparently the victims of a botched robbery. A mere 16 year old has been arrested for the murder of the men, who were in their 20’s.

See you tomorrow…

Sunday low down...

Good evening,

First Britain, then the rest of the world…

The Church of England, which owns a large portfolio of financial assets, has decided to cap the bonuses it gives to the guys who manage (invest, gamble and grow) these assets – to no more than 3 times their salaries. City boys who play with big money for their clients often get much fatter bonuses than this. It’s all related to how well they do every year. The Church of England is hoping to set a good example by knocking this on the head, so that no matter how well their boys do, from now… there is a limit on their rewards.

The News of the World, who are in all sorts of trouble at the moment for hacking celebrities phones, are now facing yet more charges for paying the police to turn a blind eye to their scheme.

In politics, The Liberal Democrats, seeking to re-establish themselves, have been circulating new flyers making no mention of Nick Clegg or in fact the coalition government at all. Perhaps they are hoping people will forget it has ever happened, especially given the coalition arrangement has been such a double-edged sword for them. Yes, they finally got voted (sort of) into power last year, but playing second fiddle to Cameron’s conservative party means they feel they’ve lost their voice and achieved very little.

Meanwhile, Greece, having already been bailed out by the rest of Europe, is still floundering. Germany has offered to help them plan a strategy for financial recovery, something they know well how to do.

Many people in Croatia remain outraged as two ‘national heroes’ are sentenced to 18-24 years in jail, for their part in the ‘ethnic cleansing of Serbians’ in 1995.

It may seem incomprehensible that so many people are mourning the imprisonment of these murderers but to many Croatians it represents a verdict of the legitimacy of their war and thus the Republic of Croatia itself.

The number of Russian billionaires has risen from 62 to 101 in the last year, largely due to the Internet taking off there, so they must be pretty pleased with themselves.

The Middle East remains wobbly, with uprisings still simmering in Bahrain and Syria.

Finally, NASA is preparing to outsource the job of putting astronauts into space. It is now conceivably cheaper for companies like Virgin to send people into the stratosphere, than for NASA itself. Richard Branson is said to be rubbing his hands together in glee…

See you tomorrow.  

Mostly less serious news than usual...

Good evening,

Syria’s President, Bashar al-Assad, has finally agreed to lift his country’s ‘state of emergency’ – which has been in place for nearly 50 years. It is one of the key demands of the Syrian protesters, who have been steadily kicking up their volume of late. al-Assad has warned them that after this, they had all better go home and keep quiet; but given the momentum of the revolutionary force that has been sweeping through the Arab world already this year – protesters are unlikely to give up here. 

In Libya, Gaddafi has taken to firing cluster bombs (which are entirely as nasty as they sound) into residential areas of Misrata, which is one of the cities the rebels have conquered. It’s a move that reaches new heights of psychotic defiance for Gaddafi, and one that will probably see Nato step up its attacks against him.

The Japanese government has been pleading with their citizens this week to eat their greens. Hoards of vegetables which bear the ‘Fukushima region of origin’ label are (not unsurprisingly) being rejected by discerning Japanese food shoppers following the nuclear disaster, despite being perfectly safe to eat. “Only safe produce is being distributed,” says chief Cabinet secretary Yukio Edano. “Please eat it.”

The centuries-old Mexican ‘Ayapaneco’ language, which has been dying out for a while now (as regional languages do) apparently has only two fluent speakers left in the world. Sadly for the language, but amusingly for the irony of it – these speakers don’t like each other, and won’t talk to one another. An American anthropologist (with perhaps too much time on his hands) is currently dealing with the two men, who live only a few hundred yards apart, separately – and rushing to compile a dictionary of the language before they both shuffle off the mortal coil.

China, which is already well known for its slightly dicey one-child policy, has now introduced a one-dog policy to go with it, in a bid to ease general overcrowding. So from now on, if you live in Shanghai, it’s one pup per pad. Any others will have to be taken to a dog shelter.

Finally, the London Olympic Committee is facing stern words from Iran, apparently due to an interpretation that our London 2012 logo is racist. Conspiracy theorists have pointed out that logo appears to spell ‘Zion’ – which is a biblical term that is loaded with all sorts of religious tension against Muslims. You can click here to see it for yourself. Incredibly ugly? Yes. Profoundly naff? Sure. But racist? I think probably not.

See you anon. 

Life and death...

A horrible and rather confusing story has emerged of an Italian humanitarian volunteer and peace activist, who was visiting Gaza to help the Palestinians and who was abducted by an al-Qaeda related gang of Muslims and then hung. Some of the grizzly footage was posted to youtube by his attackers.

If that sounds muddled, it’s because it is. The Italian (Vittario Arrigoni, 36) was in Gaza because he was campaigning for Hamas. Hamas is a peaceful Palestinian organization that doesn’t like the radical Islamic splinter groups which exist around them, because they put all Palestinians in a bad light. The same way the BNP party can sometimes put Britain in a bad light.

Not long ago, Hamas arrested the leader of one of these groups for being a violent nutter. Two members of this group then kidnapped Arrigoni and apparently threatened to kill him unless Hamas agreed to release their boss. Sadly, rescuers didn’t reach them in time and Arrigoni became the latest ill-fated good guy to lose his life whilst trying to help others.

Moussa Koussa is off the hook for his suspected role in the 1988 Lockerbie (Scotland) bombing due to lack of evidence. He probably won’t be coming back to the UK because no one likes him here, and the same goes for him returning to Libya. Apparently, he is currently staying in Qatar, as a guest of their royal family. Qatar is one of the Arab countires who joined the Western coalition agasint Gaddafi.

Cameron, Sarkozy and Obama have all pledged not to cease Nato attacks on Gaddafi unless he steps down from power. You’d think this would be happening any time now. Not according to Gaddafi, who was filmed being driven round Tripoli today with his head sticking out of the sunroof, pumping his fists and grinning with (deluded) defiance.

Back to Blighty now – and news has emerged that more than 1 in 8 Brits alive today were born overseas. Enough to fill the whole of London apparently. And certainly enough to fill the hearts of racists all over the country with abject horror.

Protests have erupted over the BBC’s decision to broadcast a documentary this summer about assisted suicide. In it, cameras follow the last days of a terminally ill man who kills himself at the Digitas clinic in Switzerland – one of the few places in the Western world where this is legal.

Critics claim the BBC is setting a bad example. Critics of those critics argue that even our pets are permitted to leave this realm with more dignity, and that people should have the right to go the same way if they want to.

And finally, speaking of leaving this realm… Walter Breuning – the world’s oldest man at 114 – died today of natural causes. He sounds like he was a thoroughly good chap, so I’ll leave you with some of his last words:

“Everybody says that the mind is the most important part of your body. Your mind and your body. You keep both busy, and by God you'll be here a long time.”

Good evening.

A whole lot of conflict...

Nato is meeting in Berlin today to sort out their differences regarding the situation in Libya. 6 of the 28 member countries have so far got their guns out to help the rebels and the rest are still hesitant; Turkey and Spain being among those who don’t approve of intervening.

There has been more and more concern from the Western media that a) the Libyan rebels could all turn out to be a load of Islamic extremists and/or b) that without Gaddafi ‘keeping them in check’, the whole country will descend into confusion and civil war. Sort of like happens when you leave toddlers unsupervised. Al Jazeera (who can you read more about here) accuses such journalism of being patronizing, which is probably fair.

Given that there is a lot of current debate over the West meddling with the rest of the world, I thought now might be a good time to explain (very generally) the Israeli Palestinian conflict. It’s always cropping up the news, and here’s why…

The area of land that we now know as Israel has been a battle hotspot for centuries. Originally, way back in history, the Jews (and quite a number of Christians) believe that God gave this bit of land to them. After the Romans kicked them out and renamed the land ‘Palestine,’ it became largely populated by Muslim Arabs.

Over time, Jews started filtering back, to the point where the Arabs became nervous. In the early 1900’s, the Zionist movement (made up of mostly Jews and Christians) sent even more of them back to the area, because it was thought they should reclaim their ‘Holy Land.’

Following the holocaust, where millions of Jews were massacred by the Nazis, the Western World felt it really was time to give them a break. So, in 1947, the UN chopped up what used to be Palestine, re-named it Israel and divided it into Muslim and Jewish states.

Obviously the Muslim Arabs were none too pleased. Several bloody wars broke out and eventually the Jewish Israeli’s largely dominated the Palestinian Muslims. These days, the Palestinians have (mostly) agreed that if they can have two chunks of the land back (the West Bank and the Gaza strip) then they will be able to move towards peace. Israel has handed back some of these parts, but violent quarrelling remains – as it tends to do with two religions who despise each other, living right next door, on boundary lines that have been drawn by foreigners. It’s not unlike the situation in Ireland.

In other brief news, Cameron has blamed the former Labour government’s ‘come on in’ approach to immigration, for the "kind of discomfort and disjointedness" which has struck British communities. In other words: Racism has got worse. Cameron says we should cut the number of immigrants we let in and make sure more of them can speak English and “integrate” properly, if we want everyone to play nicely.

Finally, after much anticipation, President Obama has announced his plans for balancing America’s budget deficit. ‘Spend less and tax the rich more’ seems to be the gist of it. Radical.

Until tomorrow…

Libya gets connected, Mother Nature gets rights...and Hugh Grant gets the last laugh

Good Wednesday,

Berlusconi has, after much recent scandal, finally announced that he will stand down from power at some point in the near future. He is currently dealing with allegations involving a prostitute, but also cited his close “personal” ties with Gaddafi as a reason for resigning.

Speaking of Gaddafi, Libyan rebels forces have gained yet another leg up on their ladder to victory – by hijacking the tyrant’s phone network. Gaddafi cut the service as soon as unrest begun to break out, leaving the rebels with no choice but to use flags as a form of communication on the battlefield. A Libyan-American man, who works for a telecom giant, came up with the plot – which now supplies the whole of Libya with a free phone and internet service.

Moussa Koussa met rebel leaders in Qatar today, with hopes of sweet-talking them into some sort of peace deal. As predicted, he failed miserably and was told to bugger off back to the UK; where he is facing a number of decades old terrorism accusations.

In Egypt, Murbarak and his sons have been detained for questioning. Protests in Cairo persist because people are not satisfied with the fact that he has simply stood down; they want him punished for all the crimes he may have committed during his reign.

Two men have accepted responsibility for setting a bomb off in Minsk – which is the capital of Belarus (next to Russia and Poland). 12 people were killed and while authorities have the culprits, they don’t yet have a motive.

In lighter news, the recent phone hacking scandal in Britain has taken an amusing turn. Hugh Grant (one of the celebrities who apparently had his phone hacked by News of the World) has undertaken a clandestine mission to eke out his revenge. Grant struck up a ‘friendship’ with a reporter, Paul McMullen, and then secretly taped one of their truth sessions – in which McMullen admitted that Rebekah Brooks (CEO of the news group) “absolutely” knew that her reporters were hacking people’s phones and, furthermore, that her friend (and our Prime Minister) David Cameron “probably” did too. Oh dear. Grant wrote an expose on the matter for the News Statesmen, which you can read here.

Finally, somewhat bizarrely, Bolivia will soon be the first place in the world to give Mother Nature human rights. The new law will see ‘Nature’ acquire privileges  like ‘right to exist’ and ‘right to not be polluted.' How this will actually pan out remains to be seen. Several hundred ago, people would have laughed if you’d told them that animals would have rights one day. So perhaps it’s not as wacky an idea as it sounds.

See you tomorrow...

Mostly Al Jazeera... but also other news...

I’ve been meaning to give you a brief lowdown on Al Jazeera for a few days now, so here it is…

Al Jazeera is a news organization based in Doha, a very sleepy town in Qatar. It used to be regarded by the West with fear and distain, because it went through a phase of broadcasting dodgy video recordings of Osama Bin Laden and the like.

These days, however, they broadcast to millions of viewers all around the world (in Arabic and in English), employ hundreds of ex-BBC reporters and have a live feed into President Obama’s office at The White House.

It’s become famous for reporting news in Africa and the Middle East in great depth, independent of bias (they say) and for always gunning for democracy and free will.

Most of the other Arab networks are basically under the thumb of Arab leaders, which is why Libyan news channels broadcast nothing but pro-Gaddafi propaganda. Most of these leaders, Gaddafi included, blame all the recent protests and uprisings in the Middle East on Al Jazeera – for working people up and encouraging them to rebel.

But Al Jazeera doesn’t pander to the West either. Oh no. They accuse the British media of downplaying the devastation we have caused in Iraq and for failing to challenge our own leaders as much as we should, amongst other things.

One small fly in the ointment. The guy who bankrolls Al Jazeera is none other than the Emir of Qatar. A very wealthy autocrat who presides over a country with no free elections or the right to free speech.

Not long ago, WikiLeaks (which we talked about yesterday) published evidence that implied the Emir was using Al Jazeera’s mass influence as a bargaining chip. For example, promising to tone down coverage of certain Middle Eastern regimes in return for economic favours.

The rest of the news now… even more concentrated than usual:

Japan has moved the status of its nuclear nightmare up to its maximum level – now on par with Chernobyl. Quite what that means is unclear because it doesn’t seem to be as bad as Chernobyl was. Yet.

Moussa Koussa (Gaddafi’s right hand man who dumped him and fleed to Britain) is now travelling to Qatar, to meet with the Libyan rebels. Presumably to see if they’ll let him switch sides. Unlikely they will.

Egyptian former President Mubarak has suffered a heart attack. It happened whilst he was being questioned over murder and corruption allegations, and he is now in hospital recovering.

Finally, prominent atheist A C Grayling has produced a bible for people who don’t believe in God. It is called ‘The Good Book – A humanist bible’ and you can read more about it here.

Until tomorrow…

Banks, journalists and Gaddafi..

 

Good Monday,

A big, (supposedly) important, independent review of UK banking has come out, and as usual, it’s a) complicated, b) long winded and c) won’t make the blind bit of different to the lives of you or I. Probably.

But here’s what they said anyway: UK banks should ‘ring-fence’ their retail banking from their investment banking bits. But not completely.

By way of explanation, when Mr. Joe Bloggs deposits £500 into his bank account, it will generally be a retail account and the bank will take most of that money and invest it on things like the stock market so that they can make even more money out of it. That’s how banks work. If, on the other hand, Mr. Richie Rich deposits £500m into his bank account, he will most likely be putting it into an investment account. Big dogs in sharp suits will be playing roulette (to varying degrees) with this money to… you’ve guessed it… make even more, except for the stakes are generally higher and the risks of losing it all are usually greater. Still, ‘retail’ money and ‘investment money’ generally hang out in the same pot.

This new report proposes that the two sorts of banking should be kept more separate, so that if the investment arm of a bank screws up (more likely) then the retail arm won’t suffer. In an ideal world. It’s all relative really and this is pretty much how the system works already, so un-furrow your brow… nothing to see here.

The man who shot Lieutenant Molyneux dead, on board a nuclear submarine docked at Southampton last week, has been charged with murder. The culprit in question is called Ryan Donovan – an aspiring rapper, who apparently goes by the name of ‘Reggie Moondogg’.

More journalists at News International are expected to be taken away in cuffs this week, as the media giant admits they may actually have hacked the phones of up to 100 celebrities in total. Ouch.

In the Ivory Coast, Gbagbo has finally surrendered to Outtara – who technically won the election from him last year but has been, until now, unable to take power from his stubborn loser. Tanks charging into Gbagbo’s home was apparently what did it in the end. The level of violence from both camps has been criticized.

Gaddafi has apparently accepted a ‘road map to peace.’ Members of the African Union, including the President of South Africa, paid him a visit this week in order to chill things out and broker a peace deal. It all sounds like total rubbish I’m afraid. The rebels won’t negotiate unless Gaddafi steps down, and Gaddafi’s forces have continued to shoot the hell out of the rebels, despite agreeing to stop and pause.

Finally, burka’s are officially banned in France. Big news and more on that tomorrow.

That’s all we have words for today. Yesterday I promised to explain Al ’Jazeera, but that will have to wait until tomorrow too. Hey, if Gaddafi can break his promises then so can I…

Cameron uses the F-Word… and we learn about WikiLeaks…

It’s still very hot. Apparently much hotter than it has ever been in the UK in April, so news stations have been sending out armies of photographers to capture the acres of lily white flesh that amassed all over the country. I was going to post an image as accompaniment for that, but I’m not sure it's really needed.

David Cameron has been overheard calling some journalist a “Fucker” – on a plane journey back from Pakistan. Cameron made a statement during his trip there, in which he admitted that Britain was responsible for the problematic relationship between India and Pakistan. His outburst was directed at the journalist who had turned these words into a front-page story, and put Cameron in rather a bad light. Ironically, I said (only two days ago) that you probably wouldn’t find nice Mr. Cameron cursing at journalist the way President Sarkozy has been known to. I stand corrected.

Former President Mubarak of Egypt, one of the first Arab leaders to be thrown out of power by protesters in recent times, is now facing big questions from the state. He is being accused of the deaths of many protesters, as well as for squirrelling away public money and generally being corrupt and nasty. Mubarak resigned in February, following 18 days of protests and has been under house arrest in his not-very-prison-ish coastal villa ever since.

Julian Assange, the founder of WikiLeaks, has rather boldly said that his service is more accountable than any democratically elected government. WikiLeaks, for those of you who don’t know, was set up (in 2006) as a nifty online ‘dump’ for people (mostly of the political ilk) to anonymously offload secrets, which could then be published and served before the public eye. It is funded entirely by its users. Last year, WikiLeaks started publishing a whole load of top-secret information that had been dumped or ‘leaked’ by various insiders, about the war in Iraq. Obviously, it revealed a number of unsavoury home truths and went down very badly with various governments who wanted to keep these truths behind closed doors, Britain and America included.

Assange was arrested in December of last year on suspicion of various sexual assault charges. Some say these allegations were all just attempts to sully the name of a man who held so many valuable secrets. Others say not. That’s not the news story, but you should know it has been an issue. Assange’s point is that because WikiLeaks is funded on a week-to-week basis by the public, based on whether they approve of its work or not, the service is far more responsive and fair than a democratic government. Even democratic governments, he argues, are largely funded by big dog companies and wealthy benefactors every four years in order to get elected. It’s an interesting business.

Tomorrow I’ll be giving you a once-over on Al’Jazeera – which is one of the boldest, most controversial and perhaps most influential news stations to emerge in a long time.

Until then…

The world and a balloon...

The Grand National took place in the UK today and it was a particularly morbid race. Two horses died, and many others couldn’t finish the race because it was so challenging and dangerous – which sent animal rights activists into a frothy fury.

The man who was shot dead yesterday, on the HMS Astute (nuclear submarine) has been identified as Ian Molyneux, 36, father of four. We still don’t know much about who shot him or why, but the perpetrator is still behind bars and being quizzed.

Another bomb, which this time was intercepted and stopped, was planned in Northern Ireland today. A chunky 500lb bomb was apparently deserted in a van on a motorway between Belfast (Northern Ireland) and Dublin (Republic of Ireland). It seems to have been abandoned in a panic, probably due to the presence of so many police patrolling the area in the aftermath of Ronan Kerr’s death earlier this week. Good thing they got it. Bad thing more bombs are on the radar again.

In the Ivory Coast, soldiers loyal to Gbagbo have attacked a hotel that is often used by President Outtara. The struggle between to the two camps continues. Citizens have been fleeing the area due to the level of violence on the streets, with around 1 million temporarily homeless.

A total of 34 countries are now in the battle against Gaddafi. Or to be more politically correct, helping out the rebels. Gaddafi still shows no sign of giving up and has briefly crawled out from under some stone or another to visit a school in Tripoli. It was broadcast on Libyan TV amid a handful of pupils chanting anti-West slogans. And so it continues…

I’ll leave you with a somewhat strange but very heartwarming news story.

On the 1^st of Janurary this year, two little girls from Manchester stood in their back garden and released a balloon into the air; with a stamped, addressed message attached to it, hoping that it might make it as far as Wales and that someone might find it there.  To their utter astonishment, the balloon travelled over 6,000 miles across the world and ended up tangled in a tree on the Mekong River of Laos (near Thailand). A man named Mr Chow found the letter, decorated it with sketches of elephants, wrote the girls and message and posted it back to their address in Manchester.

Part of me feels this story is too perfect to be true, but apparently it is.

Until tomorrow…

Here comes the sun...

Good Friday,

Today the entire population of Britain has been crawling slowly out of the darkness and swaying gingerly into the sun for the first time this year. Or glaring furiously at passers-by doing so, from within the confines of their stuffy offices. Either one.

Our chancellor, George Osbourne, has pointed to Portugal (who have just asked the rest of Europe to bail them out of their financial Armageddon) and said that it proves we are right to be making big cuts because at least we won’t turn out like them. Or like Ireland, or like Greece for that matter – and he is probably right. Labour rivals have accused of him of being overdramatic.

News International (the media giant which owns The Times, The Sun and The News of The World amongst others) has admitted that yes, it has been hacking the mobile phones of the rich and famous to get their hands on gossip. They have apologized to the celebrities in question and have agreed to pay damages. One victim with a sense of humour about the whole thing tweeted yesterday: “Just left a message on my answer-phone thanking News of the World for their apology.”

In other journalists-getting-in-trouble news, President Sarkozy of France apparently exchanged harsh words with a writer who had penned a rude article about him: “I should smash your face in,” he snarled. You wouldn’t find nice Mr David Cameron saying that now would you?

In more serious news, a man has been killed and another injured on a British nuclear submarine. It was docked at Southampton when the incident occurred and arrests have been made. It sounds like a sailor went mad with a gun. Police have stressed that it wasn’t a terrorist attack.

Things are getting worse in Libya, as Nato admit killing 7 more Libyan rebels by mistake. The talk of today is that the rebels may well be too disorganized to win this battle against Gaddafi, as has been demonstrated by our recent spat of (not so) friendly fire.

And in Japan, a huge mass of debris in making it’s way over to the west coast of America as a result of the recent tsunami disaster. Mangled trees, cars, bodies and whole houses have been spotted from the air, floating towards California. It is likely to threaten certain shipping routes and possibly damage a chunk of ocean life.

See you tomorrow and enjoy the sun…

Recession Depression

Another earthquake has hit Japan, if you can believe it. It struck offshore to the northeast coast, which is a small mercy, although a tsunami warning has been issued and the already troubled Fukushima nuclear plant has been advised to evacuate.

Engineers there have already been risking their lives to stay behind and try to contain radiation leakage – so whether they will actually leave or not remains to be seen.

Portugal has done what it has, up until now, tried its best not to – and is asking for an €80billion bailout from the EU. So cheque books at the ready for Europe’s most minted countries…

Police in Northern Ireland have uncovered an enormous weapons stash, believed to belong to the terrorist group that killed Constable Ronan Kerr in a car bomb last week. Apparently some of the bomb materials have been traced back to Libya. It is common knowledge that Gaddafi has a fondness for supplying terrorists with make-your-own-bomb kits, so this discovery comes as no great surprise.

Speaking of Libya, news of the fighting may have dropped from the immediate headlines for today but the situation is still very aggravated. The RAF is raining bullets over Gaddafi-shaped targets and 13 Libyan rebels have been killed accidentally by a Nato missile.

And speaking of horrific violence, a 24 year old man has run riot with a machine gun, in a school in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil – killing at least 13 and injuring many more before turning the gun on himself.

Controversial Chinese artist and activist - Ai Weiwei (pictured above) - has been arrested and detained by Chinese officials, most probably just for being controversial. He was hoisted off the streets 3 days ago and his friends and family have heard nothing from him (or the officials) since. A Chinese newspaper reported that he was being held over “tax evasion” today but then quickly removed the story.

Ai Weiwei currently has an exhibition on at London’s Tate Modern. He is famous for being both very noisy and less than complimentary about China’s strict communist regime, so you can bet that his situation isn’t good right now.

If you have come out of this update feeling a little blue, then fear not, for you are not alone. The BBC has obtained new figures, which show that the number of people seeking professional help for depression has risen steeply since the start of the Great British Recession. Up to 400% in some cases.

Click here, pour yourself a drink and weep away...

Goodnight

Berlusconi goes to court, and lots of other bits...

 

David Cameron has said that we are to blame for the current squabbles in Pakistan, as well as many others worldwide. He is referring to our past history of marching into far-flung countries and declaring them British. And he is probably right. In many cases after we have given countries back to their people, problems have occurred because we leave them with no infrastructure.

Gbagbo is still refusing to give up power in the Ivory Coast and his rival Outtara is still trying to make him. Fighting between the two camps has got steadily worse, but it looks like Gbagbo will soon be chucked out.

A man has been arrested in connection to the murder of Ronan Kerr, the police officer who was killed in a car bomb in Northern Ireland last week. We don’t know who he is yet or why exactly he did it but we probably will soon.

Rebel leaders in Libya have apologized on behalf of the whole country for supplying the IRA with bomb material and for helping terrorists to blow up a plane over Scotland in the 80’s. It wasn’t their fault of course – it was Gaddafi’s, but it’s their way of saying thank you to us for helping them and it means that if they do manage to turf Gaddafi out and rule the country themselves, we can count on them as mates.

Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, is on trial for allegedly having sex with an under age prostitute at one of his infamous ‘villa parties,’ as well for a host of other unrelated charges. Berlusconi is Italy’s longest serving post-war leader and also very loaded and very fond of the high life. He denies all the allegations, although he does admit he is “no saint.”

Back to Blighty now, and Richard Branson has embarked on a new big mission. Not content with building one of the worlds most successful business empires and breaking all sorts of records with boats, planes and balloons, he has now announced plans to go deep under the sea in a one man submarine next year. Why? Beats me.

Nick Clegg has admitted that he himself got his first few jobs through ‘favours’ and family ties. Yesterday I explained that he is currently trying to get rid of this system in the UK, due to it being unfair on people who don’t have rich and well-connected relatives.

That’s all for now, check back tomorrow.