Good Tuesday,
Lord Mandelson (better known as Gordon Brown’s slightly eccentric former advisor) has urged Labour supporters to vote for the AV voting system, because it might be enough to knock Cameron off his perch come next election.
Figures have emerged which show that the average UK worker calls in sick (skives off work) about 10 times a year. Apparently, we do so twice as often as the average worker in the US. You have to remember that we Brits have the longest working hours in the developed world, so it’s no wonder we award ourselves the odd duvet day every now and again.
A report claims City workers are still earning enormous amounts of money, even though their bonuses are being cut to make them appear more frugal. Companies are simply raising salaries instead. Not very surprising.
Falling house prices and very low interest rates in the UK means that, for now, buying a house works out nearly £100 cheaper per month than renting one. This makes a change. In 2008, it was almost double the price to buy than to rent. Which is good news for anyone lucky enough to be granted a mortgage at the moment.
A mole has been outed in Pakistan. Not as in a furry, blind, digger. As in a spy. The unnamed man worked for British Intelligence in order to gather information, but was actually an al-Qaeda assassin who now stands accused of bombing Christian churches and a luxury hotel in Pakistan.
You may have been hearing talk recently of the new, scientifically coined ‘Sleepless Elite.’ If you haven’t, I apologize, because it is going make you cross and jealous. The Sleepless Elite are a small minority of humans who thrive on less than 6 hours sleep a night. They are found (naturally) to go to bed late, rise early and motor through their day with no feelings of tiredness and no requirement for naps or industrial strength caffeine. As if that wasn’t enough, they typically have fast metabolisms and a high pain threshold too. Bastards. Scientists are fiendishly attempting to single out the genes so that one day, we could all be so lucky.
Finally, it has been pointed out that the date of the Royal Wedding (29th April for the few of you who haven’t got it stuck to your fridge, tattooed to your brain etc etc) coincides with annual ‘Save the Frogs’ day. This provides you, dear reader, with some strong joke-formulating material. Submissions in the comment box below please. Best one wins a prize…
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