Good Monday,
A big, (supposedly) important, independent review of UK banking has come out, and as usual, it’s a) complicated, b) long winded and c) won’t make the blind bit of different to the lives of you or I. Probably.
But here’s what they said anyway: UK banks should ‘ring-fence’ their retail banking from their investment banking bits. But not completely.
By way of explanation, when Mr. Joe Bloggs deposits £500 into his bank account, it will generally be a retail account and the bank will take most of that money and invest it on things like the stock market so that they can make even more money out of it. That’s how banks work. If, on the other hand, Mr. Richie Rich deposits £500m into his bank account, he will most likely be putting it into an investment account. Big dogs in sharp suits will be playing roulette (to varying degrees) with this money to… you’ve guessed it… make even more, except for the stakes are generally higher and the risks of losing it all are usually greater. Still, ‘retail’ money and ‘investment money’ generally hang out in the same pot.
This new report proposes that the two sorts of banking should be kept more separate, so that if the investment arm of a bank screws up (more likely) then the retail arm won’t suffer. In an ideal world. It’s all relative really and this is pretty much how the system works already, so un-furrow your brow… nothing to see here.
The man who shot Lieutenant Molyneux dead, on board a nuclear submarine docked at Southampton last week, has been charged with murder. The culprit in question is called Ryan Donovan – an aspiring rapper, who apparently goes by the name of ‘Reggie Moondogg’.
More journalists at News International are expected to be taken away in cuffs this week, as the media giant admits they may actually have hacked the phones of up to 100 celebrities in total. Ouch.
In the Ivory Coast, Gbagbo has finally surrendered to Outtara – who technically won the election from him last year but has been, until now, unable to take power from his stubborn loser. Tanks charging into Gbagbo’s home was apparently what did it in the end. The level of violence from both camps has been criticized.
Gaddafi has apparently accepted a ‘road map to peace.’ Members of the African Union, including the President of South Africa, paid him a visit this week in order to chill things out and broker a peace deal. It all sounds like total rubbish I’m afraid. The rebels won’t negotiate unless Gaddafi steps down, and Gaddafi’s forces have continued to shoot the hell out of the rebels, despite agreeing to stop and pause.
Finally, burka’s are officially banned in France. Big news and more on that tomorrow.
That’s all we have words for today. Yesterday I promised to explain Al ’Jazeera, but that will have to wait until tomorrow too. Hey, if Gaddafi can break his promises then so can I…
But here’s what they said anyway: UK banks should ‘ring-fence’ their retail banking from their investment banking bits. But not completely.
By way of explanation, when Mr. Joe Bloggs deposits £500 into his bank account, it will generally be a retail account and the bank will take most of that money and invest it on things like the stock market so that they can make even more money out of it. That’s how banks work. If, on the other hand, Mr. Richie Rich deposits £500m into his bank account, he will most likely be putting it into an investment account. Big dogs in sharp suits will be playing roulette (to varying degrees) with this money to… you’ve guessed it… make even more, except for the stakes are generally higher and the risks of losing it all are usually greater. Still, ‘retail’ money and ‘investment money’ generally hang out in the same pot.
This new report proposes that the two sorts of banking should be kept more separate, so that if the investment arm of a bank screws up (more likely) then the retail arm won’t suffer. In an ideal world. It’s all relative really and this is pretty much how the system works already, so un-furrow your brow… nothing to see here.
The man who shot Lieutenant Molyneux dead, on board a nuclear submarine docked at Southampton last week, has been charged with murder. The culprit in question is called Ryan Donovan – an aspiring rapper, who apparently goes by the name of ‘Reggie Moondogg’.
More journalists at News International are expected to be taken away in cuffs this week, as the media giant admits they may actually have hacked the phones of up to 100 celebrities in total. Ouch.
In the Ivory Coast, Gbagbo has finally surrendered to Outtara – who technically won the election from him last year but has been, until now, unable to take power from his stubborn loser. Tanks charging into Gbagbo’s home was apparently what did it in the end. The level of violence from both camps has been criticized.
Gaddafi has apparently accepted a ‘road map to peace.’ Members of the African Union, including the President of South Africa, paid him a visit this week in order to chill things out and broker a peace deal. It all sounds like total rubbish I’m afraid. The rebels won’t negotiate unless Gaddafi steps down, and Gaddafi’s forces have continued to shoot the hell out of the rebels, despite agreeing to stop and pause.
Finally, burka’s are officially banned in France. Big news and more on that tomorrow.
That’s all we have words for today. Yesterday I promised to explain Al ’Jazeera, but that will have to wait until tomorrow too. Hey, if Gaddafi can break his promises then so can I…
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