Saturday 16 April 2011

Mostly less serious news than usual...



Good evening,

Syria’s President, Bashar al-Assad, has finally agreed to lift his country’s ‘state of emergency’ – which has been in place for nearly 50 years. It is one of the key demands of the Syrian protesters, who have been steadily kicking up their volume of late. al-Assad has warned them that after this, they had all better go home and keep quiet; but given the momentum of the revolutionary force that has been sweeping through the Arab world already this year – protesters are unlikely to give up here. 

In Libya, Gaddafi has taken to firing cluster bombs (which are entirely as nasty as they sound) into residential areas of Misrata, which is one of the cities the rebels have conquered. It’s a move that reaches new heights of psychotic defiance for Gaddafi, and one that will probably see Nato step up its attacks against him.

The Japanese government has been pleading with their citizens this week to eat their greens. Hoards of vegetables which bear the ‘Fukushima region of origin’ label are (not unsurprisingly) being rejected by discerning Japanese food shoppers following the nuclear disaster, despite being perfectly safe to eat. “Only safe produce is being distributed,” says chief Cabinet secretary Yukio Edano. “Please eat it.”

The centuries-old Mexican ‘Ayapaneco’ language, which has been dying out for a while now (as regional languages do) apparently has only two fluent speakers left in the world. Sadly for the language, but amusingly for the irony of it – these speakers don’t like each other, and won’t talk to one another. An American anthropologist (with perhaps too much time on his hands) is currently dealing with the two men, who live only a few hundred yards apart, separately – and rushing to compile a dictionary of the language before they both shuffle off the mortal coil.

China, which is already well known for its slightly dicey one-child policy, has now introduced a one-dog policy to go with it, in a bid to ease general overcrowding. So from now on, if you live in Shanghai, it’s one pup per pad. Any others will have to be taken to a dog shelter.

Finally, the London Olympic Committee is facing stern words from Iran, apparently due to an interpretation that our London 2012 logo is racist. Conspiracy theorists have pointed out that logo appears to spell ‘Zion’ – which is a biblical term that is loaded with all sorts of religious tension against Muslims. You can click here to see it for yourself. Incredibly ugly? Yes. Profoundly naff? Sure. But racist? I think probably not.

See you anon. 



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