Friday, 11 March 2011

Real Problems in Japan and Morons in Manchester



 More than 1,000 people (and counting) have been killed after the sixth largest earthquake ever recorded in human history hit Japan today. The devastation caused has been almost unimaginable, even for a country that lives on a dodgy plate boundary and is used to regular shudders. Many of the skyscrapers built with this in mind were left swaying but never dropped. There is only so much one can do, however, to limit damage for a natural disaster this severe; as is evident in Japan today. Fires are tearing through the country, whole towns are flattened and several oil refineries are up in smoke. One nuclear power plant is in such an unstable condition that the Japanese Government are preparing to release radioactive vapour into the air to prevent it from blowing up. Worrying. Two high-speed bullet trains have completely vanished and countless victims remain trapped under rubble. The quake has also triggered a number of tsunami waves, which have trashed coastlines and swept ships into oblivion. Smaller tsunamis have reached all the way to Hawaii - and America is keeping a steady eye on their own west coast. Half the country is without power and mobile phone networks are down, so we probably won’t know the full story for some days to come.

The head of the US intelligence service revealed today that he believed the Gaddafi regime ‘will prevail’ in Libya. An anonymous senior official at The White House says Obama thinks it will certainly not. Ergo: America is confused. David Cameron, on the other hand, has demanded that Europe form a united front against Colonel Psycho Gaddafi. Rebels in Libya are definitely struggling (unsurprisingly) against his ruthless attacks and are said to be dropping like flies, as Gaddafi’s men cruise through war zones ‘tidying up’ the bloody evidence. One has to wonder why all these ‘men’ are remaining so loyal to the gibbering lunatic. It is interesting that next door in Egypt, only a few weeks ago, the Egyptian army refused to wage war on protesting civilians under exactly the same circumstances. As a result, their ruler had little choice but to give up. It would be very surprising if Gaddafi could successfully get away with all this, sweep it under the carpet and plonk the crown back on his head as if nothing had ever happened. But you never know.

Following these stories, my next offering might just be enough to make you give up entirely on the human race. A group of Manchester University students have been keeping themselves occupied…by downing lethal amounts of alcohol in a moronic race to ‘see who gets rushed to A&E first.’ Headlines like this are wonderful in a way because I don’t need to bother elaborating on them.

Check in again tomorrow.

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